the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
