the day after is always just damage control
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
