why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
