Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
