dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There are leaves in my underwear?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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