I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
