my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
