so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
