I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
