Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
