Walk of Shame today included voting.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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