I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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