Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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