After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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