just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize