Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
