hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
