her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize