plz talk dirty to me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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