walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just want nice things and good sex
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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