Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
