Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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