Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
