38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
