I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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