It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
