i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
