I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
being pregnant is like rehab
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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