I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
