smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
