I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hippo gnu deer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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