I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
