he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize