it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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