The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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