I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
