Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize