i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
