Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Randomize
