It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
