i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
