goodnight i made you a song goodbye
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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