she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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