its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
