he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
