Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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