You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
