Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
