Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
