My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
