help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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