I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
