if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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