We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
