im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
