yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize