im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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