This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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