thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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