Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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