Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
