you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
