I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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