Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
