I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize