She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize