Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
